Change your mind ~ Zarah

[Deryck Wentz]

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[Zarah Hurley]

To be fair, Zarah hadn't always been a fan of takeaway food. Even if you sat in to eat it, it was still called a takeaway so lets not get pedantic here. It was probably down to the fact that they hardly ever had decent vegetarian meals and she had experienced that many times growing up. No, she didn't 'live in mcdonalds' or 'fucking love chinese food'. In fact, the takeaway she liked the most was pizza and no one really counted that as much. But anyway, she had used the little money her dad had left her to get food and stuff and now she was going to buy some food. And it was vegetarian. She wasn't sure how her parents could be vegans, it would be like almost impossible to eat anywhere that was purposely for vegans. Why she was always out while her Dad was away, she wasn't sure. When she knew he was in town it was like she felt a bit safer even though she was in the house alone. It was nice house, anyone could break in. That's probably what she was most apprehensive about.

It was pretty pointless to be at all worried about staying in a house on her own. She wasn't even too bothered, just she liked to have people around her. Even when she turned her music up loud, it wouldn't fill up the house. It had only occured to her when Andy had left that it was a strangely big house for just two people and a dog to live in. Of course, it had been a home to her Mum before she moved out too, but now it was just teh... just the three of them. A big house. A pool. A 15ft trampoline. Two out buildings. It was just too big. Although Zarah had no idea why she was even thinking about her house, it was just a stupid thing to think about. Not when she could stimulate her mind on more important things like poverty or something. Not that she constantly wanted to be depressed or anything.

As she looked around the restuarant, she noticed that Deryck was in there. Weird. He wasn't the type of guy to be alone, from what she knew about him and that was quite a lot, he was a catch with the ladies. It seemed the Wentz's always were. From Pete, to Jared, to Deryck. But here he was... looking a bit down. Maybe the pair of them could cheer each other up? Maybe? She made her way over to him, after ordering just noodles, knowing it would be quite fun to try and eat with chopsticks. "Hi Deryck." Zarah smiled as she reached his table, running one of her hands up and down her arm. "I've known you for too long.... what's up?" She asked as she saw his face and took a seat without bothering to ask. If he wanted to be alone what he said to her would tell her that and then she could just go.

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[Deryck Wentz]

[/b] He lied looking back at the table again. He was a shite liar sometimes, he just didn't feel like putting on that smiley face, he didn't feel like pretending to be happy anymore. It wasn't worth it. He sat up and leaned back in the seat and looked at Zarah unusually seriously for Deryck Wentz. "Pete and Ashlee are getting a divorce." He stated sounding somewhat emotionless about the whole thing.

Truth was he was far from it. The correct term would be devastated. He knew it was for the best but at the same time it torn him apart, he found himself wondering did they ever love each other? Had they at one point ever been in love with each other or had they just had a find and she ended up getting pregnant and before they knew it they had a kid and did the honorable thing, got married and tried to make it work for the sake of the children.

It sounded about right really. They probably had never been in love with each other. Just had a shag and ended up with kids somehow. A hand ran though the usually messy hair, he couldn't even be bothered doing that, he couldn't be bothered doing anything all he wanted to do was go home and sit in his room in silence, just lie in bed and do sweet F.A.

Maybe he would go home and pull out some old CDs that Pete had given him and try to draw some inspiration, or pick up the bass and write something, or....no he didn't have the energy for it either.
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[Zarah Hurley]

"Liar." Zarah shook her head as he told her everything was fine. If everything was fine then she would have been greeted some other way. Probably him teasing her. It was true, both the Wentz lad's had always teased her. But because Deryck was younger than herself, it was usually Jared who took the piss more. Somehow, Zarah knew when both of them were lying because she had spent so much time with them when they were younger. Neither of them had changed in that respect. It was slightly worrying to Zarah to see Deryck with that look on his face, she'd always known him as somewhat of a 'happy chappy' type of guy. So yeah, it was very odd to see him looking like this. Had something really bad happened? If something serious had happened to either of his parents, then Andy would have rang her already. If they had been in an accident or something. Maybe it wasn't his parents? But it wasn't like Deryck to get like this over a girl. So what else could it be?

As the man came over with her noodles, she thanked him and opened the carton. Laid beside her carton of noodles was chopsticks. Zarah could never eat with chopsticks, she always dropped them and ended up using her fingers if there wasn't a fork. Somehow she thought that was how she would end up eating. It always managed to make people look at her weirdly, or made them think she was just a common young girl. But yeah, she'd always found it hard and couldn't care what people thought about her eating with her fingers. Maybe she'd get kicked out? That'd be a laugh. Might even cheer up Deryck? She looked up at him abruptly when he told her that Pete and Ashlee were splitting up. Geesh. She could remember that feeling from when her own parents had split up no so long ago. Without even thinking about it, Zarah put her hand over his, merely for a few seconds.

Quickly, she took her hand from his as she realised what she was doing. It immediately retreated to her hair and she ran her fingers through it before laying it back on the table. She wasn't even going to attempt to eat her noodles just yet. "Ah, Deryck. That's fucked. Are you okay?" Zarah said, not sure what she could say, if anything, to make him feel better. No one could really understand what she was going through when her parents split up. It was different for everyone. "Sorry. Stupid question. I can understand... sort of... 'cos y'know when Andy and Tessa.... yeah." She mumbled, not sure how to finish her sentence. It was useless, she was shit at helping people at times like these. "I don't know what to say." Zarah admitted, looking sorry at her lack of words to try and make him feel better.

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[Deryck Wentz]

[/b] He was going over every argument, every word, every hint in the last sixteen years that had been hinting at this. There were so many, so many huge things that he had chosen to ignore and some he had made excuses up for.

Wiping his eyes as they stung he looked at the table, unusually nervous as he played with the sleeves of his hoodie - anyone who knew him would know this upset him more than he was letting on. Mind you he didn't really mind talking to Zarah about it, they had grown up together, in fact he had grown up with most of his friends, there was like this big gang who used to hang about when their parents were working or when they were in each others city's. IT had been fantastic and now most of them lived in Miami so it was even better - like having all this friends around him.

A hand ran though his hair which hadn't been straightened this morning...Deryck always had his hair pristine. "I just...it's really weird...I don't know what I should be thinking. I always thought you know, my family was like the ones on TV, perfect family even though it never was, I pretended it was and all this time they've been unhappy...so does that mean its all lies?" He asked her, quiet as to stop anyone else listing in to their conversation having famous people as parents taught you that the walls had ears. "I mean...I have this memory of my dad reading me and my brother a bed time story when I was small, and I don't know if its real...or if I wanted it to happen that much I invented it..."
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[Zarah Hurley]

Not sure what she could say, Zarah pulled apart her chopsticks and placed them how she knew they needed to be in her fingers. But before she even began to start on her noodles, she gave up and instead threw them on the top, wondering whether or not to use her fingers. But then when he started to speak she looked up at him instead. The poor guy. He was obviously more upset than he was letting on and Zarah could tell, because it was obviously hard for guys to express their emotions. Or at least this guy. She'd known him for long enough to know that. "Deryck... there's nothing wrong with you. Nothing wrong with you at all. It isn't down to you... I mean its not is it?" Zarah said, suprised that he was claiming it was down to him. "When... when my mum and dad split, I was devastated... but y'know everything's okay now. At least my parent's are happy now..." Zarah said, wondering how he would react to what she was saying now.

But as she heard what he had to say next, she grabbed her chair and moved it around so she was sitting right next to him instead of opposite. He was really taking this hard, but then Zarah could remember crying her eyes out. She could even remember blaming herself. But then again, she could remember blaming everyone and anyone else about what was happening to her. Now all she thought was how selfish she'd been. "No Deryck.... it wasn't lies. It was just, maybe they had been happy. But now they're... now they aren't and they've got to do what's going to make them happy. Everyone thinks, or wants to think, that they're family is perfect. But no ones perfect, its just one of those things." Zarah told him, wondering why there couldn't be a simpler reason than a divorce. Wondered why people couldn't just be permanently happy? "Whether its a memory or a dream or something you invented... if it makes you happy then you shouldn't doubt it." Zarah told him and then hugged him, knowing it wouldn't make the slightest difference. But she wanted him to know she did care. She had always and would always care.

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[Deryck Wentz]

[/b] He answered flatly. "Maybe...I don't know...I never did anything to help did I? All I did was walk in the door every night out my face and start arguments, then they argued about me. It was a great way to help out." He said bitterly before stabbing a chop stick in to the cold noodles, how much trouble had he caused them?

Then again he couldn't imagine a house with out fighting, they'd been doing it since he was a baby, it was either his parents fighting or his father and brother fighting or him and his dad. There was always one boiling in the foreground. That was the sad thing really.

Sighing he shrugged and picked his head up leaning it on his elbow. "As long as their happy but...I guess I'm so mad they they didn't tell me. That everyone knew before me. I had to find out from he lawyer. They couldn't even tell me they were getting divorced...because they were scared of me...scared encase I blew up."

He looked down again, tracing a circle on the table with his hand. "But if thats fake...it's fake just like everything else." Deryck said quietly as he rubbed and eye. "Like the band..." He trailed off, that was the other thing bugging him. Sure his band were successful there first full length record was in the works, there tour had gone well and the Eps were flying off the shelf. But was that because of him, because of their music and how good a bassist he really was, the quality of their song writing...or was it because his father was Pete Wentz and their guitarist the son of William Beckett?
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[Zarah Hurley]

"Deryck, just don't blame yourself okay? Whatever you did... and however many arguments there were it wasn't down to you that they're getting divorced. Whether you were the best or the worst kid in the world, it wouldn't have made your parents love each other anymore." Zarah pointed out. Sometimes she could suprise herself with the sense that she came out with. It was like, most of the time she could just chat a complete load of shit but when someone was saying something she disagreed with she'd suddenly make sense. And she guessed this was one of those times. It looked like, when she was needed, she could be helpful. Not an agony aunt, never, but helpful and hopefully supportive. "Just promise me, promise yourself that you won't blame yourself because otherwise you will for the rest of your life. And thats.... thats not good at all." She furrowed her brow slightly.

But her attention went back to her noodles. She'd only come here for them, she hadn't been prepared to talk to Deryck. Yet, she'd much rather to talk to him. Even when he was happy. Everyone need a friend at sometime like this. But she was definitely sure he had better friends than her. Like Daley for instance, them two were best friends. "Did you blow up?" Zarah asked, not knowing when he had found out. It could have been that morning or it could have been a few days ago. No matter how long it was since he found up, it didn't make what was happening any better. Geesh, Zarah suddenly felt like some sort of physchologist. Maybe he just needed a friend right now? Someone to take his mind off what was going on in his life?

"No Deryck. Your band isn't fake. I know for sure that you always wanted to be in a band since you were younger. I've known you for that long..... remember? That wasn't fake. Our childhood wasn't fake." Zarah told him picking up some noodles with her fingers and popping her fingers into her mouth. Yeah, nice table manners eh? But yeah, she was hungry.... and if it was impossible for her to use chopsticks then she might as well use her fingers. "Look Deryck. I don't know what else I can say. But if I can at least try and cheer you up... then I'd like too." Zarah told him, pushing her carton away and noticing his just as full carton of noodles. "We could go somewhere else. Somewhere where there aren't as many people to listen in to your life." She muttered, glancing around at the other people and particularly a pair of girls who looked like they knew exactly who Deryck was.

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[Deryck Wentz]

[/b] That was what got him the most though , he had told his own father to go and kill himself, even with the problems he had he knew he shouldn't have said it, it was wrong and cruel and would make him do something stupid. With a deep breath he looked at Zarah ashamed with himself. "I told him to go and kill himself." He said with disgust at himself in his voice. Everyone knew about his fathers problems, it was no secret and it never really had been.

Looking at the table again he ran a hand though his hair. He wondered why he was telling all this to Zarah she wasn't his best friend yet at the same time...maybe his best friends were a little too close.

He listened to her - unusually - as she talked and nodded. She was right, their childhood hadn't been a lie, the times running round each others gardens naked at the age of three and jumping in to the pool cloths on at the age of ten, theses weren't lies. Those were real memories. He smiled half melancholic at the situation before nodding and giving her a smile. "Thanks Zar, your right." He told her, giving her a tight hug and rubbing her arm slightly, it was an affectionate jester she was after all like a little sister almost part of the family. His eyes wondered round the room before landing back on Zarah. "Lets go somewhere else, we can go to the dodgems at the funfair, I'm not in the mood to deal with fans as harsh as that is." Sometimes you wanted to leave work at your workplace.
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[Zarah Hurley]

"But you didn't mean it Derry, of course you didn't mean it 'cos otherwise you wouldn't be so cut up about your parents." Zarah told him, pulling one of her legs up so it was under the thigh of her leg and rested on her chair. Poor girl could never sit still for very long. Fidget. But the chairs in takeaways were never comfy because it was almost like they wanted you to eat and then get out of there quickly so they could heard the next lot into your seats. Nice. "People say things they don't mean when they're angry." She shrugged her shoulders and ran a hand under her eye to rub away any eyeliner that might have smudged. There was enough there to be a chance that some of it might have smudged. Although Zarah had never told Andy that he should go kill himself, Andy hadn't been depressed as Pete had been. But still, she knew Deryck hadn't meant it. No one could possibly mean that about their Dad, well... unless some circumstances.

The best memory she could say she had of Deryck was sitting in her tree house at the bottom of her garden. They'd had a sleepover in there and sat up all night talking about everything but nothing. She couldn't even remember much of the conversation, but they had a CD player with Fall Out Boy playing, along with a lamp so they could see... and well two sleeping bags. The one thing she could remember about that conversation however was her telling Deryck that she never wanted to get older. When he had asked her why she had said that she never wanted to stop having times like that with him and their other friends. That she never wanted to have responsibility. She'd been ten and he'd been nine. But sitting there now, her being seventeen and him being sixteen somehow just reminded her of that time. Hardly anything was the same, but you can never put your finger on what reminds you of your memories.

Zarah grinned and hugged back her friend when he embraced her. "Dodgems? That sounds fun." Zarah laughed, picking up her carton of noodles and putting in the bin that was just at arms reach from where she was sitting. "Lets go" She muttered, taking his hand and pulling him up, expecting him to follow her out of the door. "Hey Deryck, do you remember that time when we were ten. Well, I was and you were almost ten?" Zarah asked him wondering whether his memories where the same as his. Sometimes she remember things other people didn't and when she tried to remind them, it never worked. She just hoped he would have remembered. "You know that time where just me and you camped out in my treehouse in my garden?" She added, was she jogging his memory. She pushed open the door to the restaurant, nice to breath the fresh air again. "Do you remember it?" Zarah asked again, glancing around at him.

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[Deryck Wentz]

[/b] He said quietly as he draped an arm round her once he got outside. The air was cool and refreshing but not cold – not by Miami standards. Truthfully Deryck has a lot of fond memories of them when they were younger. There were so many of them all, they had been brought up together almost like cousins, he counted every singe one of his fathers (and mothers) friends kids his family, even though he may not exactly be best friends with them all he would still help them all out, he would be there if they needed his help because they were practically blood.

A gently laugh as he swept a piece of hair out his face and looked at the girl beside him; “I remember, we sat with a CD player and this shitty light that kept flashing and we listened to out dads CDs and though they were go great, that it was so amazing but we would never tell them because it was too uncool.” He looked out across the street and smiled before looking back his friend. “And we sat up all night talking, about how we never wanted the summer to end, that we wanted to stay that way forever and never grow up.” Deryck trailed off slightly, sounding almost upset.

He remembered a story his dad had told him, about this dude called Peter Pan that he lived in this place called Neverland where you never grew up. He wanted to live there, wanted to cling on to the childhood that he had let slide away all too easily from him. “Still one of the best summers I’ve ever had…hey!”/ Deryck paused and smiled looking at Zarah with a devilish smile. “How about we do it again when the weather gets hot? Me and you, we’ll even fix up the tree house.”
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[Zarah Hurley]

Zarah couldn't help thinking that now they were both outside and Deryck had his arm around her (and her having his arm around his waist because otherwise it'd be hard to walk) that papparazi would suddenly appear. Of course they wouldn't though. Who would be interested in band member's kids? But there had been pictures of her in papers and magazines before. Nothing major, but she'd definitely had been in there and she wasn't wanting to be back in there again. She looked up at Deryck and smiled, it was stupid how even though the guy was a little younger than her he was still taller. And she wasn't even that short, but guys always seemed to be taller than her. Not that she was even that bothered. "Yeah, that was probably one of my best memories y'know.... one of the ones I can almost properly remember." Zar admitted and glanced down at her feet as they walked along the street.

"Hey!" Zarah exclaimed, poking Deryck in the ribs. "That light was wayy cool, even if it did keep flashing. It had the teenage mutant ninja turtles pictures attatched to the bottom. My Dad always insisted I watched them." She laughed as she remember about the lamp that she hadn't even thought of before. "But yeah, if we admitted we like Fall Out Boy, we'd never have lived it down." But Zarah knew it would be more Pete teasing them than her Dad. Andy would have only used that information when he could use it best. "I sort of wish we'd never grown up. Being ten was way cool." Zar laughed but then the laugh faded from her voice and face and she carried on staring at her feet. Being young was really cool, that had probably one thing that she could never go back to again.

But her attention went back to her Deryck as he said about the treehouse. "Somehow I think my Dad might be a little bit more suspicious than he would have been when we were ten." Zarah laughed and brushed her hair out of her face as she looked up at him. "But y'know.... I'd really love that. We could get the lamp, if I still have it. And the CD player. God. I'm actually excited." She laughed although she was completely serious. "The treehouse isn't all that bad actually, only needs a little done on it. My cousins used to use it when they come over so it can't be too bad, they'd be able to destroy something that was screwed to the ground," Zarah smirked, they didn't come over anymore now that her Mum had moved out. But that, Zarah couldn't complain about. "Okay then Deryck, its a date." She grinned.

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[Deryck Wentz]

[/b] He joked hugging her closer. There was a strange urge to protect her, like he had to look after her no matter what happened, if someone broke her heart Deryck would much rather break all their fingers and toes with a hammer. He was still smiling, laughing slightly as he listened to her and nodded in agreement. “Aye my dad would still be ripping the piss out me.”

“I’m sure your dad would trust me, after all your like a little sister…even though your older than me…” He paused and bit his lip slightly. “How does that work then…anyway.” A wave of his hand in the air he blew it off and smirked. “Ok you find that lamp and CD player I’ll bring the CDs and the food, I’ll ask my mom to make that hot chocolate she used to and put it in a flask, you remember she used to put marshmallows on it and everything?”
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